Crooked Lumpy Vessel

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Posts by Crooked Lumpy Vessel

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  22

  Off to the Assembly this Weekend

  by dorothy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  anyone have any ideas for discreet practical jokes i can commit?

  anyone else going to cornwall, ontario this weekend?

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Nosferatu:

  You get the funniest pictures. Where do you get them? I would love to have a bigger version of that funny monoey because I will stick it in the contribution box. I am a junior rebel.
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  47

  NEW LIGHT in July 15th Watchtower??????

  by integ in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my aunt just told me that there is new light in the july 15th watchtower study article.

  she won't tell me what it is.

  she said to look close and i would find it.

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Well...I have not picked up my Watchtowers and Awakes for some time, and aint no one going to bring them to me either. Maybe if they could count their time they would. Anyway....

  I do recall an earlier thread (about a month ago) when there was some speculation as to who the King of the North was. I think it was speculated that Islam was now the King of the North or something....but I am not certain obviously because I do not have my mag.

  It makes me sick to think that Aunty Em wont just come out and tell you. She thinks if you have to find it on your own you are forced to read the entire magazine to locate it and then you just might come back in the fold when you read something that might touch you in a warm and fuzzy sort of way or scare the s**t out of you. Whatever works for them.
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  19

  Im A Grandma!!!!

  by little witch in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to a most beautiful grandson.

  tyler keith, 6 pounds 12 oz (women love the details)lol

  he was born june 4th healthy and georgous and my dil is doing well after 15 hours of labor and a c-section.

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Congratulations Granny!

  It is a beautiful thing to be a granny. I had a baby a couple of years ago...but I also had a son 22 years ago and a daughter 20 years ago. My son and his wife have already given me three grankids. I have been filled with joy ever since. I found that the WTS demand so much of my time that I barely got to be a granny.

  My advice to you is enjoy every moment you can. If life has taught us one thing, it is love is a special thing and the time we get to express it is fleeting.

  Enjoy!
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  10

  This is scary

  by RR in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  check out this link http://www.license.shorturl.com you can actually search someone drivers license, just type in his or her name and city and state and viola, it's there.

  i tried it .... pretty scary!.

  rr

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Ok....you got me.

  <Thinking of a way I can get even>
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  10

  Armaggedon comes - at a set day and hour or as a result of circumstances?

  by truthseeker in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i have been thinking about this question for some time.

  considering the society's past deceptions and false dates about armaggedon, i never gave the timing of this "day after tomorrow" event too much thought.. and then i got to thinking, well, maybe there isn't a set day or hour for the end of the world.

  the few examples that jehovah gave a specific time for a city to be destroyed was nineveh (40 days) and jerusalem (the 70 weeks of years).

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  I always thought that this was what the Great Tribulation was all about. The tribulations would come and be so bad that God has no choice but to step in and take care of business.

  Matthew 24:21 ...for then there will be great tribulation such as has not occurred since the world’s beginning until now, no, nor will occur again. 22 In fact, unless those days were cut short, no flesh would be saved; but on account of the chosen ones those days will be cut short.

  Of course, I dunno much, but I always suspected a nuclear catastophe. Something that would threaten the existence of man all together. In my speculative mind it is a nuclear ticking time bomb. So in answer to your question, I imagine something like this would prompt God into action.
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  22

  Did you ever have a weird bible/book study?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  only asking!

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  This was back in the late 80s. It wasnt my study but a sisters. Anyway...the study would insist on standing on her head during the study...on a pillow. She was not in that position all the time, but she insisted that the blood to her brain helped her to think better. So she would randomly stand on her head, then sit up, then on her head.

  She also had different color hair. Like red and green one week and then a month later blue and red. Now this may be common place today but in the 80s it was just starting to become popular, hence wierd.

  The funny part about the whole thing is that she is now a sister. At least she was back in the latter part of the 80s. I am not sure if she is still today.
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  28

  I forgot..........

  by Puternut in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  .

  .....what the voices of my children sound like.. .

  puternut

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  I am sorry that you have to deal with this. I hope you are able to get a call in to them. I hope that this is just a temporary thing.
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  4

  Witness Gatherings

  by DaCheech in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  first of all we had our yearly gathering - note that it was at a vfw hall (war war war).

  second: for the first time it was catered & we had to pay our share.

  after asking the elders why?

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  I was never asked to contribute to an event other than to bring food. The congregation funds paid for the temporary property rental.

  However, when ever there is a "Feed the Speaker" no one wants to host this so we do it at a local restaurant. I always felt bad for those who were too poor to go to a restaurant. Because they had no money, they would be excluded from the occasion.

  My favotite "Feed the Speaker" story (in my sisters congregation). The speaker and his wife were handed two brown paper bags with sandwich, fruit, cookies and drink. Come to think of it...Isnt this what we are now suppose to eat at the DC? See..this is how things get started.
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  28

  What sister elder said at the book study..........ARRRGH

  by Pistoff in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  hello all; my jaw dropped monday at the bookstudy.at the book study on monday, the only meeting i can stomach anymore, a statement was made that made my blood boil.

  in asking the question "how does god protect us?

  " sister elder answered this way: "well, one of the ways is like that abuse case that was filed in the (twin) cities, or wherever, (sic) it turns out it was thrown out because all the charges were false, or whatever.

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  We had a similar situation at a WT study. Except is was about Ground Zero. Apparently a brother had wanted to go to Gilead or something but he also needed ot get a job. He went on some job interviews and was hired by an employer at the Twin Towers, before accepting the position, it turned out that he was also accepted for Gilead (or one of the WT schools). Anyway, when he asked his new potential employer if he could be hired after this ministry school thing the employer said "no". So this brother made a decision to go to the school instead of taking the job.

  Now over the year, this story got translated as "God protected this brother because he chose spiritual things over physical things." A sister gave this answer at the hall to a similar question and I about wanted to puuuuuuuke. In essence, what she was saying is that God allowed the death of the other 14 brothers and sisters that day because they chose to support their families? The WT conductor did not even correct the sister..

  You see, this is how all those unscriptual teachings get translated through the hall. Because sister so in so said it it must be true. It gets spread through each congregation by visitors. Over time this is how pepperoni was blood, beards were bad, dresses only, etc etc. I knew I had a responsibility to approach the sister and did and I also approached an elder because I felt that it was his responibility to correct any misconception that was be born that day through his talks . You may want to do this for Sister Elder. Otherwise the other poor sheep that follow her will perpetuate the LIE.
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  23

  Reading CRISIS of CONSCIENCE

  by azaria in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  im borrowing it from the library and am almost half way through.

  at times i have to put it down because it makes me so furious.

  i had a difficult time getting into it at first because its definitely not an uplifting book.

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  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Compare Job 27:5) What reason could anyone have to regret having followed his conscience in taking a firm stand for Jehovah? By loyally upholding Christian principles as they understood them or by responding to the proddings of conscience, they proved worthy of Jehovah’s friendship.

  What they really should have said was "...by responding to the proddings of the collective consience of the governing body..."

  Example of serving the convoluted reasoning of man and not God.